I SEE a woman

I remember the first time that I saw a woman. I mean that I really appreciated woman in all of her glory. This was when I was in medical school working in labor and delivery on my ob/gyn rotation. I had followed women in the clinic prepartum and seen women develop through their pregnancies. I had then worked in delivering the babies and seen women push children into existence. Neither of these had I really seen these women. I then moved on to the ward part of my rotation, and I was responsible now for evaluating women postpartum in the maternity ward. One morning I went to check on a patient. She was a black woman, very dark skin; she had just given birth the night before. She was sitting up in the hospital bed, the room was lit by sun that was shining in from small cracks in the window and fell on her right side. She had very long black black hair, parted in the middle, that framed her face and traveled down to her abdomen. She was nursing her baby on her breast. She was wearing an ivory gown. The contrast of her black hair and skin with her gown and the sun shining on the white of the gown and the sheets made it look like she was glowing I mean radiating with light and energy. And I thought - THIS is divinity. I had NEVER really appreciated the unspeakable, incomprehensible, amazing work this woman had done and what she was in that moment. She had produced a living being, and then she generated from her own body food! To this day I still don't fully understand the magnificence and power of that. It has been so under appreciated, discussed, pondered, revered and been made to be so no big deal."She had a baby". That's it. So I wasn't prepared for how glorious it was to see a woman actually create and introduce life into this world. The magnitude of the what a woman's unique physical ability really was came into focus for me at that moment. I never EVER looked at women the same way. I had lived many years of my life, and never appreciated what a woman truly was or could do or the incredible amazement of the gift of life that she gives. I realized that is the first time I ever SAW a woman. I also realized I had never really seen myself. Once you know what and who you are no one can make you settle for anything less.

I sincerely believe that one of the major problems in our world is the lack of self value among women. This I think leads to their acceptance of the abuse that unfortunately leads to their higher rates of diabetes and heart disease from all the compensatory bad overeating, their under-eating disorders on the alternative extreme (anorexia etc.), their risky behavior and higher AIDs rates, staying in relationships of domestic violence and their perpetually higher poverty rate then men. Of course all of this amplified in the poor communities with minority women. Tack on the hip hop music that says you're a ** and a *****, magazine ads that say you have to look like a computer generated image which you will never achieve, add on discrimination in the work force, top it all off with a church that says you're a "helper" & god is male and never mentions you, mix that all up with poverty in a capitalistic society that says you're nothing if you're poor, finally add in 25% are raped or molested and you have a recipe for really low self esteem.

So part of my multifaceted approach to helping the most vulnerable groups among us - obviously poor people, minorities, and the grand combo - poor minority women - is to do something to improve self esteem in women. I think without this - no program or law could meaningfully change their circumstances.

What about you? When was the first time you really SAW a woman? Tell me what you saw and how. . .